I can't get over the feeling that I'm wasting whatever portion of my life I've got left.

In this video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jgTCayWlwc

"A rant on personal engineering projects" by BPS.shorts

The author makes the point that when you're working commercially on part of a project, the organization always has a way to keep the project going, even if you fail. If the cost goes over, they can usually change the scope or budget to fit it in.  If the parts don't integrate well, they can buy a system already integrated, or even the company that has already done it.

However, on a personal project, if any part fails, the whole thing fails. The main hazard is simply not finishing the project, rather than doing any one stage optimally. I think there's a shit-ton of value in this analysis.

Good Quote from Pale Rose in the comments @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jgTCayWlwc&lc=Ugxjv3J38ajw82_bmtF4AaABAg

    *Personal projects have a unique requirement that you must optimize for: 'finishing the damn project'. Everything else is secondary*